« June 2005 | Main | September 2005 »
August 18, 2005
What Enemies?
Well, I started this blog to chronicle what depths of God's love I would discover by trusting Him and loving my enemies. I was expecting to go through some crazy times as soon as I made that decision. I thought that I would be tested beyond comprehension by encountering some of the most unloveable people on the planet. I guess I don't really make enemies too easily! :)
I don't have any stories of having to forgive someone who kidnapped me and my family and tortured us, trying to make us deny Christ. Nor do I have any accounts of being robbed in the street and me being able to share about God's love to someone pointing a gun at me. I was expecting all kinds of extreme challenges, yet nothing of what I expected came.
The biggest challenges have come from right within my home. The moments where I feel Glaucia may not have understood what I just said. Or when she asks me to do something that I'm just about to do anyway. Those simple moments were usually ones where I would get very upset and snap back with something like, "What do you THINK I'm doing?" or "What about you? What did YOU do all day?" These tiny moments every day have been the ones where I've been challenged with having a loving attitude. God has been showing me how patient He is with me and how much I need to learn. He has given me peace in those moments and it has created much more fruitful conversations with Glaucia. And I've realized that the problem is not with Glaucia in those moments, but with myself. I've been the one with the impure heart interpreting her tone of voice wrong.
Another challenge is with the children. God is so patient with me. He'll let me get away with rebellion and disobedience for months before I feel the consequences of it. With my kids, I can sometimes expect instant obedience and get very frustrated when they don't listen. I believe God is trying to show me that I shouldn't DEMAND trust and obedience. God does not demand it from me, He desires it. He gives me the freedom to choose and He risks losing my trust. I need to let my kids choose, and be consistent and let them suffer consequences. And I need to be there to pull them out of trouble when they ask for my help. I definitely don't know all the answers, but I'm just gonna stick with it and keep trying to emulate God for my children.
So, loving enemies is somewhat easy. Forgiving the tiny stabs our family and friends can unknowingly do is alot harder.
Posted by fabijo at 12:41 AM | Comments (3)
August 12, 2005
Simple Things
We came to our in-laws' house today while they are away on vacation. While we were in the back yard, Glaucia and the kids were picking tomatoes. I climbed up a tree without the kids noticing. When I got comfortable, I called to the kids. They began running around the yard looking for me. I kept saying, "I'm right here," but they just weren't finding me. They kept walking around right under me looking through the fence and under rocks, but not looking up!! Finally, Willik looked up and saw me. It was so funny to see the confused looks on their faces.
Later at night I was trying to tuck Willik into bed. He started telling me that he doesn't want to sleep by himself. I told him that it's good to be by yourself because it gives you more time to talk to Jesus. Then I told him that when I go to Oklahoma City, I spend alot of time by myself, but I like the time talking with Jesus. Then he asked me how we can talk to Jesus. It was just perfect timing. I asked him if he remembered how earlier in the day, he was talking to me and looking for me but couldn't see me. He said yes. Then I explained that I could hear him and see him, even though he couldn't see me. "That's how Jesus is with us," I told him. "He can hear us and see us even when we can't see Him." He just got quiet and stayed in deep thought for a while before wishing me a good night.
I think its great how God provides for everything all the time, especially in the simplest of things. If I stay in touch with the Spirit, I'm ready for those perfect moments. My prayer is that I will not receive any peace unless I'm walking in the Spirit. I can only imagine how it must've been while Jesus walked the earth. Every word and action of His must've fallen into place -- probably so perfectly that His disciples were still realizing so many things about those times even years afterwards.
Posted by fabijo at 11:30 PM | Comments (3)