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April 12, 2007
Could it really be? Am I actually blogging?
Could this be an actual blog entry? It's been months since I wrote on here. It'd be a miracle if anybody still checks this to see if I updated anything.
I'm still doing school, school, school. I'm more used to it by now. In fact, I should be doing homework, but I'm just gonna go to bed. I was up for more than 24 hours straight because of school and work. I can't let that keep happening.
I really just want to write something about Jesus. To some people, it may sound like I'm being mystical and/or mythical. At this point in my life, I really don't care, because He is alive and real and tangible. I recently had a dream with Him in it and I can't stop feeling so much peace about it. I've been debating on whether it is something for me to share or not, but I really feel I need to.
I had the dream in the first week of February, while Glaucia and I were on a small getaway celebrating our 8th anniversary. The dream started off somewhat fast-paced. I kept finding myself in some different scene. One that I remember clear is that I was in the corner store from my old 7th Street house in Philly where I grew up. Somebody in the store was taking advantage of the owner, who had a hard time with English. I began yelling at the person and felt disgusted at how often people disrespect each other and try to cheat each other. I left the store and just kept getting more and more upset at how screwed up we are. We don't trust each other. We are always trying to make/save a buck. If someone is a stranger, it is easy to disregard their feelings or their entire life.
The dream was full of different situations where people were just acting in complete ignorance. There were all kinds of acts of injustice and cheating. At one point, I was in a white hallway with my back against a wall and a door to my left. There was something outside the door that was enjoying the corruption and trying to keep everyone in disarray. I was getting exhausted and just wanted that thing to stop messing everyone up.
Suddenly, to my right and far down the hallway, Jesus was walking toward me. He was calm and had a pleasant smile on His face as if He knew everything about me and loved all of me. I noticed that I was kind of praying and just whispering, "Yes, Lord. Yes, Jesus. Come close." He kept walking right towards me with that smile. I could see that He was aware of the corruptor, but it just didn't seem to bother Him as much as it bothered me. Something about His look said, "It won't last for long." As He got near, He just spoke naturally into the air with absolute certainty that He was heard by His Father. I'd say He was about 15 to 20 feet away from me when He started speaking and got closer as He spoke.
All He said was, "Father, remove from him all that is not Jesus and replace it with Christ." As He said this, I felt weaker and slowly began to fall forward. Right as He said the word, "Christ," He caught me with His right hand on my chest. It felt like some dead part of me continued to fall as Jesus held me up, all the while giving me that comforting smile. My strength returned and I stood up straight and grabbed Jesus' hand. It felt so good to be able to touch my God. I just kept exclaiming, "It is so good to see you!" He just kept smiling at me and said nothing else with words. He really didn't need to speak. I could just see so much in His eyes. All that love. All that understanding.
I began to wake up. Just as I was opening my eyes around 2:30am, I heard Him say something that didn't make any sense at all. He said, "Now how about that bald baseball cap and the black eyeball?" His tone sounded like He found it amusing to say this to me and that I would figure it out eventually. For the next few weeks, I kept trying to come up with interpretations of those words. Nothing really seemed to fit. I thought maybe I'd find some wierd photo in a magazine with someone wearing a visor and an eyepatch or something.
Then I went to Oklahoma City in March. One day, I happened to look at one of my T-Shirts I had just taken off. It is a black T-Shirt that has three yellow peeps wearing baseball caps backwards and gold chains. Underneath them, the shirt says, "Respect my peeps." The way the tops of the peeps' caps are designed looks like the cap is torn because it blends in with the color of the t-shirt. Also, the way the peeps are facing to one side, you only see one black eyeball on each.
So, my latest interpretation of Jesus' words are just to simply remember to Respect His Peeps. I started laughing when I noticed it. Jesus definitely has a sense of humor.
Posted by fabijo at April 12, 2007 12:42 AM
Responses
Hey amor! I'm so glad you blogged. Of course I'm still concerned about your unfinished homework, but I'm glad you're getting to share your thoughts with everyone.
Posted by: glassgirl at April 12, 2007 02:01 AM
Welcome back to blogging and I had three peeps last night. Nice blog entry.
Posted by: Enoch Moses at April 12, 2007 09:25 AM
Hey Fab, Yes I still check your blog every day, just to see if perchance you updated. So, I'm glad I checked :D Enoch ate three actually peeps, he didn't have three people.
I wonder if that door signifies that you've opened your door when the Lord knocked, that's why the corruption was on the outside and you were on the inside with the Lord.
Posted by: Michelle Moses at April 12, 2007 04:48 PM
Hey Fabio,
Nice to see you back again in the blog world... I also check your blog, and I'm always happy to read your thoughts... wow, what a dream! I'm glad you're feeling peace with the whole thing... out of curiosity, what did Jesus look like? How did you know it was Him? Was it just because of the peace He was representing?
Posted by: Raquel at April 12, 2007 09:43 PM
Raquel,
I knew somebody would ask what He looked like! :) It's kind of hard to say how I recognized Him. It really didn't have anything to do with what He looked like as far as features go. He just looked normal and casual. In a dream, things just are what they are sometimes. In that dream, He was Jesus. There was no doubt. It was as if I had known Him forever. I think the best way to say it is that He looked extra familiar. He is definitely no stranger. I just recognized His personality immediately as the guy who gave me life.
I know I'm not answering the question the way you'd like, but I just don't think His looks define Him. In Revelation, John saw Him in a bunch of different ways. Sometimes a lion, sometimes a lamb, other times someone with brass legs and a sword sticking out of His mouth. However He looks when He shows up, He is saying something to you. In my dream, He came very casually and relaxed, looking like an average person. That was part of the message He was giving. In someone else's dream, He might show up very serious and dressed like a warrior for another message.
Posted by: Fab at April 12, 2007 10:10 PM
Isn't that like a bald cap you are wearing in your profile pic on facebook? Something about seeing that bald image all over facebook seems like a familiar presence.
Posted by: Pops at April 12, 2007 10:19 PM